the person next to me did not comfort me by saying that he could lend me money to buy a new one, so we went to the Apple store together. When the waiter handed me the computer I bought, I picked it up with both hands.
at that time I told myself that I must cherish this new computer in the future.
but unexpectedly, less than a year later, I lost it again in Chengdu.
I once thought that I was a person who could not learn from memory.
just like when I was in primary school, because I liked a singer very much and knew he was going to be on a variety show on Hunan Satellite TV, I wrote down the time of that program on a post-it note a week in advance, covering all the walls of my home.
but on the night of the program, I went to bed after finishing my homework. I had no recollection of it at all.
when I remember, it is already a few days later, and people will only smile and say that you are really a "big-headed shrimp", (Cantonese, for someone with a bad memory), but no one knows how remorseful I am.
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and as I get older, what I forget becomes more and more important, and my remorse becomes stronger and stronger.
count down, I missed four or five bus tickets because of my bad memory, lost my wallet and mobile phone, lost a lot of keys and umbrellas, and never saw countless clips and rubber bands.
the most serious one, I almost lost my admission card. If I hadn't been lucky enough to get it back, I wouldn't even be able to take the high school entrance exam.
in order to prevent myself from making these mistakes again, I began to use memos, set alarm clocks, and write them down in my notebook.
although it is true that the situation has improved, I still can't remember when there are more things.
I have also met several people who are as forgetful as I am, and most of them are relieved to talk to them about it.
maybe when we run out of skills, we all begin to accept that we are such a person and are willing to pay the corresponding price.
but what always bothers me is that I have unwittingly hurt some people because of my poor memory.
there is a friend in Beijing who likes to eat Ludingji. When she came to Guangzhou, I told her, let's go to eat Ludingji next week.
she asked me to pick a day, and I thought, "Saturday."
I thought I would be free on the weekend, but I didn't expect that day was the deadline for my graduation thesis. I was so dizzy that I naturally couldn't go to her appointment.
called her and asked if I could reschedule, and she asked me, "didn't you say today?"
I explained that today is the last day to hand in my paper, and I have to rush to work.
she asked, "then why did you choose this day?"
I: "I forgot."
just after I said these three words, my friend hung up on me. I knew what it meant, and she always felt that I didn't take the agreement to heart.
I also know that I can't defend myself, because in the eyes of most people, memory is controllable, and as long as you pay enough attention to it, you can remember it.
so once I forget, all my concerns can be overturned.
and this is also the most helpless place for people who are apt to forget things: on the one hand, it is my memory that constantly disappoints me, on the other hand, it is the accusation from the people around me that "you just don't have your heart at all."
I was caught in the middle, unable to redeem myself nor be forgiven by others.
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