Forgiveness is between two people.
after that, it is "why should I be so nice to you?"
these stories include, but are not limited to:
Why are you getting more and more impatient with your partner and don't want to let her go?
should I break up with friends who have been bothering me all the time?
and you hesitate only because you don't want to admit:
you don't want to admit that the other person is not worth it, much less do you want to admit that you are not worth it.
I have a friend's secondary account in my Wechat list. Since I heard the news of his marriage in March last year, I often read about him in the middle of the night.
although I was curious when I saw it for the first time, I refrained from commenting, because I knew that his purpose of posting this moments was not to get comments from others.
I probably guessed what happened to him, but still didn't comment.
also after seeing this moments, I left a sentence "drink?" in the comments section.
when he tells this, his expression is as calm as if he is telling other people's stories.
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he looked up at me: "I really thought I could forgive her at that time."
"it means that I can forgive her for that, but I can't forgive her attitude afterwards. I can be as nice to her as I used to be, but how can she still treat me like she used to be?"
I have to say that people are really strange sometimes, not only indulging in the feelings of vanity and spoiling, but also addicted to grievances and pain.
"I want to confirm her selfishness with my selfishness so that I can force myself to make up my mind to leave her."
although it sounds a little bizarre, I can actually understand what he is doing.
because of a failed relationship, it is easy to turn into a game in which both sides seize the "moral high ground".
No one wants to play the bad guy, and no one wants to fall asleep over and over again in the future. there is nothing that people can't do in order to make themselves feel better.
only long after this ridiculous game ends, people in the game suddenly realize that
all the efforts and efforts that go against their will can only add resentment to their hearts.
it does not necessarily come from what is happening in front of us, or even related to this person in front of us, so its outbreak is so unpredictable and irreparable.
recently I saw a very interesting saying in the book:
in the process, any irrational choice and unworthy object may put us out of business.
only after that do people feel happy.
this theory is a bit complicated, but it's actually quite easy to do. Just remember the following:
ask two questions:
have we been marked?