To make sure their daughter is happy.
"happy life, start writing"
Yes, this topic appears in clutter for the third time.
We wrote about the Spring Festival for 16 years, and we also sent it at this time last year, but this year, we decided to continue the tradition and push it again, hoping to be of some use to you.
I was young and ignorant three years ago.
thinking that you have no job and no income, it means that you don't have to give gifts for New year's greetings.
the VIVI of that year was also stupid. Before I went out, my mother told me, "the things have been bought, you can bring them to others."
prom dresses with sleeves brings out your beauty, elegance of silhouette as well as the unique sense of style. There are benefits buying from our online shop.
Vivi pulled me aside and said, "We're not stable enough. We don't have to bring it. It's weird."
I answered "Oh" vaguely, so I went to their house, empty-handed and sweet-mouthed. My aunt and ex-uncle shouted "Happy New year" when I got Li. In fact, her family didn't say anything to my face, what to talk about, what to smile.
and when I got home, Vivi sent me a Wechat message that read: "my mother just asked why you didn't bring anything."
I was in a hurry and asked her, "didn't you tell her that you told me not to bring it?"
Vivi: "I said it, and then I was scolded. She said it wasn't a matter of money, it was a matter of courtesy."
I regretted, scratched my head and hurriedly asked my sister and my mother what to do.
they looked at me like idiots: "send it over quickly."
so that night, I dropped in again, carrying all kinds of fruits and snacks.
the moment I entered the door, I really wanted to put duct tape on my head. It was so humiliating. It embarrassed everyone.
so the first thing to pay attention to: go to your girlfriend's house to pay New year's greetings.
courtesy is not extravagant. Your family, your job, and your girlfriend may have talked to your family a long time ago.
so don't be a big-headed ghost. Scholars buy wine worth thousands of yuan each and buy expensive bird's nests. But don't be stingy, go to the Hong Kong store to buy imported snacks, and choose some more expensive fruits. If you want to buy cigarettes, don't buy the cheapest, the medium price is about the same.
there was a question from a female reader yesterday. She said that she went to her boyfriend's house to pay New year's greetings two years ago, but her mother told her not to go this year. The reason is: the man never goes to her house to pay New year's greetings, but the girls go there every year, which seems to be very cheap.
the female reader asked me, "should the man come to pay New year's greetings before I can go to him?"
in fact, this female reader has made a mistake. Her mother does not mind "who comes first", but "the other party never comes to pay New year's greetings". In the minds of many parents: it doesn't matter whether you are the first to pay New year's greetings, but whether you come to pay New year's greetings or not can directly determine whether you are a person who knows the rules or not.
someone went to your house to pay New year's greetings. According to reason, you really should return the gift.
if you don't go, you look down on others.
this seems incomprehensible to us young people, but many parents care about it.
students, don't be silly. I didn't go to my girlfriend to pay New year's greetings for that red packet, but to tell each other's family that you really want to have a future with her. Unless the other person's family doesn't care at all (not in the mouth), what needs to be done should be done well.
Note number two: understanding the details of impressions determines trust
Chinese people care about etiquette, and politeness is behind it. Whether a person is polite indicates whether he knows to respect others, especially in the eyes of elders. Politeness has become an important censorship indicator, and even plays a key role in the issue of "can the child be trusted?"
just because what you say is sweet enough to melt someone doesn't mean you're polite, because the word "politeness" is so big that you can't explain it in a few simple sentences. So I will give some negative examples of "impoliteness" below:
1. The etiquette is not perfect, and the things given are not appropriate. For students who don't come out to work, it's okay to send fruit and some imported snacks. But if you have already come out to work, you should send some cigarettes, a bottle of wine if your girlfriend's father likes to drink, and a can of tea if you like tea. A friend of mine once sent those Letv gift bags and sodas, and the girls were half angry.
2. It makes people feel inappropriate to wear grandiose clothes. The most taboo thing about New year's greetings is that you wear black to pay New year's greetings to others, or wear a very fashionable suit, a fluorescent yellow coat, and comb a big back. Are you here to pick a show?
3. I only talk to my girlfriend. If you enter someone else's house and still just cling to your girlfriend and ask your girlfriend to introduce you to the third aunt or the sixth aunt, you will know what to call each other, then you are dead. When you go to other people's homes, you should be generous and take the initiative to talk to your elders.
4. Playing with your mobile phone is really an irreverent behavior, which gives people the impression that you are very unreliable, as if you can't live without a mobile phone.
5. When eating, they were seated before the elders, moved the chopsticks before the elders, and chose a better seat to sit down. We should first let the elders sit down, and then the rest of the seats are our seats, and when loading the meal, we should not fill it too full. in the eyes of the older generation, this is a sign of not having enough to eat. Don't pick and choose when you eat, it's also rude.
6. This is the last and most important one I tell you. If you play mahjong with your future mother-in-law, remember loose medals and don't win money.
and these are just minefields that you may touch when you go to pay New year's greetings, and there are countless "precautions" that you have to play it by ear. You have to remember, this is not an exam, because you can get a few points on how many questions you answer correctly. But for New year's greetings, you can get 0 points for one wrong question, and even if you are all right, there are only 60 points, so there are only two kinds of comments you can get, that is, "OK" or "impolite".
A friend of mine told me his brother-in-law's advice: "when you go to pay New year's greetings, you should have a job in your eyes, don't be lifeless, and let your mother-in-law and father-in-law see that you have a responsible side and have an independent mind."
and another friend, he left a message: "be polite and go to bed early and get up early. You don't need help to work, but you have to play with young children." When eating, you should first pick up food for your parents, don't wear flashy clothes, and you can't sleep in the same room with your girlfriend. If you have an old man, remember to prepare some not too expensive gifts for the elderly. "
after reading this paragraph, I felt a little sad, because his last sentence was:
"I died when my parents asked questions. Take care."
Note 3: behave well at the table
Please remember that the table is a battlefield without gunpowder smoke.
I have a friend who is notoriously picky among us. But according to him, he always had three bowls of rice every time he went to his girlfriend's house for dinner, and every dish on the table would be his favorite dish, not because it was really delicious, but because he ate less when he went to dinner for the first time. His girlfriend's mother always advised him to eat more, but he said he was full after eating a bowl of rice, so the girl's mother said, "maybe it's because he can't get used to it." It doesn't matter. "
do you know how terrible the word "can't get used to" is? I once asked my girlfriend, "if I can't get used to your family food, what does that mean?"
she said: "you can understand it as pampering, picky, losing face, and so on." And "not used to eating" means that the two sides have different living habits, different living habits mean different lifestyles, and differences mean that the three values will not be consistent. The three values are all at odds with each other. are we still suitable? "
this logic is flawless, so I have to admire the size of girls' brains. I think that friend may have asked the same question, which made him have such a big change.
finally, I would like to say something beside the point.
although I describe the whole article in a tongue-in-cheek tone, I don't think it's a terrible thing to pay New year's greetings to my girlfriend. Instead, it's an interesting contest in my mind.
maybe "Happy New year" is a restless experience for us "boyfriends", but for girlfriend's family, this is one of the few opportunities for them to see us clearly.
so we try our best to reassure them and entrust the people who hold them in the palm of their hands to us for the time being. And they set up many obstacles, not to embarrass us, but to see from every detail whether we are in line with their expectations, but in the final analysis, they only want to determine one thing. Whether the most important girl in the family will be bullied by this stranger.
through their words and deeds, they told us, "it's not like my daughter can't find someone better, so you'd better be careful." If I get a little grievance from you, I'll let her go home. "
what we can do is to constantly promote ourselves and become a responsible man who can put her family at ease.
in fact, this is also an unfair exam. We can avoid most of the minefields through reminders before we walk into the examination room. Although they knew that this day would come, they were still unprepared. Their daughter already had someone she liked.
their most precious people don't just like them, so they have to make a good investigation, for fear that she has made the wrong choice, sorry for their love for her, and sorry for her love for that stranger.
so in the end, maybe there is only one thing to note:
make sure their daughter is happy.
Happy New year, disorganized.
you can follow my other account
"girlfriend is angry again"
here will be my New year's greeting story
determined to be a more gentle (gentle) official account of young people.
determined to be a more gentle (gentle) official account of young people