I've been single for 20 years and I've never been on top of anyone else.

I've been single for 20 years and I've never been on top of anyone else.
Unexpectedly, I still don't have a boyfriend five years later.

understanding she often focuses on talking to me, trying not to worry about it. Even if she is really vibrating, she will ask me if she can do this before replying.

but in fact, there is really nothing to say on my phone, my Wechat is full of group chat, and my email is full of spam.

one.

it's just that not everyone will ask for permission like her. Most people just hang their heads to reply to the message. I can only stir the ice with a straw and rest my elbows on the table in a daze.

in order to avoid this embarrassment, they advised me to fall in love more than once.

I can unscrew the top of the bottle by myself. I can sleep well without anyone saying good night. I can take cash with me when I go out. I can order takeout if I don't want to go out. I can refrain from crying when I am sad. I can take care of myself and why I need a boyfriend.

in fact, most of the time, I also have luggage that I can't carry, I often lose sleep at night, I often get lost when I go out, and even when I go to the hospital to see a doctor, I don't know whose number to fill in in the column of emergency contact.

it's not scary to be single, but it's a shame to admit that you're still alone when you want to fall in love.

when I was fifteen years old, someone around me began to fall in love. It was easy to fall in love at that time, and a hot breakfast in the drawer was enough to maintain a good mood for the day.

so I thought to myself, in the future, I also want someone to put breakfast on my desk. I even figured out how to make up an excuse for not eating at home with my family. I can say that there is a burning shop at the school gate or go to school for self-study earlier.

but until I completely left my life in a fixed classroom, I didn't have a tight plastic bag steaming water droplets in my drawer.

to be honest, if I were asked to introduce myself now, my first thought would be: "I'm 20 years old, but I haven't been in love yet."

the reason for adding a "but" is that although many netizens make fun of their maternal-fetal solo, very few people like me have no love experience at all.

everyone has had a relationship more or less, maybe with a tall boy in the class, or a friend of a friend who met at a friend party, and then wait for the person who likes him, and then accept his confession.

so much so that I feel that my greatest characteristic, or the most able to say a few words, is not my hobby, name or origin, but my incredibly empty relationship resume.

friends who have just met will always ask why (not in love).

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author /Lu Yifei

Picture /"reasons I can't fall in Love"

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