I want to run away from home for the hundredth time.
later we talked, and he said, " it is also filial to let your parents have a sense of participation in the little things in your life."
and I have never had an "intimate relationship" with my parents, and I feel awkward even asking my dad to wash his hands for dinner.
I have been deliberately alienated from my parents since I was young.
so my father was very self-abased and got along poorly with my grandmother's family. In the end, I was at home every day, often drinking, and half of the things in the house would rot away after drinking.
and my mother is very "romantic". She has always pitied her father, softened him every time she knelt down, and always believed that her father would get better.
in the end, my mother couldn't stand it, and when I was an adult, they finally divorced.
I have always thought that the relationship between parents is one willing to fight and the other willing to suffer.
I have been boarding since junior high school, and I have scored very far in college.
but I found it impossible.
of course I will.
after learning that I have a boyfriend, my mother asked him no less than ten times, does he smoke or drink, how is his income, does he have a house, and how are his parents?
in fact, I understand that my mother suffered a lot from the failure of her marriage, and she didn't want me to follow in her footsteps.
the heavier this introspection, the tighter the shackles of the native family.
not only that, but under the influence of this family, I found myself not trusting "intimacy".
when asked why, I said that he had never raised me since he was a child, so there was nothing to talk about.
I was stunned and found that the greatest impact of my native family was my extreme lack of sense of security, or even indifference to intimacy.
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We are in a long-distance relationship. When we first got together, he would say "I miss you" every day, and I resisted because it was useless to miss.
and it doesn't bring anything real, such as a hug, a walk, a plane ticket.
my boyfriend took a long time to make me understand, "before an intimate relationship, worthless things are also valuable."
he said, "as long as you're not close, you can be really happy."
when I am not close to my native family, I am not really free or happy. I am still walking with a stone on my back.
some time ago, in order to improve the relationship, I asked my mother to go out to play. At night, we were lying on the big bed of the hostel, and she was chasing "everything is fine."
my mother saw Su Mingcheng kneeling to his wife. I smiled, but she wiped away her tears.
"Don't you think he's useless?" I asked.
she says this is not an excuse for her father's cowardice, but it is a reason that cannot be changed.
We are all equally helpless in the face of native families.
the native home test mentioned above, I suggest everyone to scan the code to do it.
but because you can make appropriate adjustments only if you know what type of family you are.
because when we were young, it was true that the diary was full of "wanting to run away from home", and those grievances had already left us riddled with holes.
only by doing so can poor parents like us be relieved.
because we will always be parents, and on that day, I hope none of us will be our own parents.